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2 boys

To my sons who never knew me….

To my sons who never knew me,
I guess I wasn’t worth their time
A soul that loved them so much
But in the end a poet’s rhyme

You were conceived from a love juggernaut
A love so strong and all consuming,
To urge a pacifist to go off to war
To leave me in a situation unassuming

The first conceived in water
Beyond a distant shore
Where olives grew and feta cheese
Were in the greek’s kitchen repertoire

The second conceived in conflict
Both worldwide and domestic
A moment of calm and love divine
For one night the world seem much less hectic

I followed a path my father had walked
Which led me off to work
To do whatever it took to feed you both
A wage-earner your mother called jerk

Your infant smiles were diamonds to me
Your warmth upon me blessed
I held you both, we fell asleep
I’ll never know a more peaceful rest

You grew too fast, too far it seems
I never seemed to make it back
To have you reach for me the way I reached for you
It was more than time together I lacked

You didn’t hear much good about me
I was the terror of the town
Everyone has so much bad to say
While I worked and was not around

Time did not seem friendly to me
As you grew we grew apart
Your goals and dreams and games and friends
Excluded me, it broke my heart

I tried to find a place to be
A family once again
2,3,4 jobs were too much for me
It would be too much for many men

Mifflin county was where you stayed
When I left to find a home
Where we could be together once again
But I was left to live alone

I never understood the why
You were not meant to be with me
I am your father, you are my sons
That is still my reality

But somehow someway we lost our path
And Bradford was the start
Where you lived your life apart from me
The rip grew deep in my heart

I begged to find a way, some way
For your mother and I to create
A world of understanding and
More love and much less hate

But I was alone in my hopes and prayers
And it didn’t come to pass
I went off alone again, my sons
This time knowing I would not come back

I listened to your mother when
She said to leave you both alone
When I was near the fighting resumed
And she wanted a peaceful home

So I took her counsel one more time
A fool in many ways
I surrendered you both to the mother you loved
And I was left alone to pray.

And praying is what I do each day
Praying to God to not forget
That I’ve placed you both into His care
Both sons of the man named Bret

You never will know me and that makes me sad
Because the greatest joy to me today
Is knowing the love of the man I call Dad
Before God takes him away

So since it seems you won’t give me the time
A poem I’ll give to you
You’ve been loved so much there all this time
By the Dad you never knew