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goodbye

Our Goodbye

when I was young in high school, I had a couple friends.
I did not make more for I was very shy.
but in the hallway and end of day, I met a smiling face,
and I could count on her to always say goodbye.

over time I grew courageous, and I felt lonely at times
and I could always find her from that sultry sigh
and we’d talk awhile and time would fly and she’d hurry on her way
but she always took the time to say goodbye.

well conversation became dating, and dates became romance
and if folks asked if we were in love, she’d deny
but she drew closer as we dated, and finally we shared a kiss
and the kiss became the way she’d say goodbye

college came and college went, it was not really a good fit
when I went away I thought that I might die
she chose romance with other men and in my calls home to win her back
she would tell me she was busy and goodbye

but when our eyes met we had a moment, even she could not resist
and in passion she confessed it was all a lie
I’d won her heart and soul and form and she wanted to join my life
so we would not have to ever say goodbye

I resisted then enlisted, there were no jobs to earn my keep
and with a future in the balance I had to try
so I boarded a bus and in the window, there she stood with streaming tears
and she waved but never spoke the words goodbye

then a day came armed with orders and a ticket for a plane
in 30 days I had to convince you for the third time to reply
two times before to marriage, you had said a flat out no
three strikes and I’m out, a final goodbye

you hesitated, you debated, there were no others calling now
if you said no you would watch your only suitor fly
so you weakened and consented, I had not once relented
and you told your single life so long goodbye

6 months after, I found laughter as I’d worked so hard to shelter
all the love of my new bride in a building two stories high
and I worked those crazy hours, and we loved so often then,
and each day when I was leaving we kissed goodbye

The flight back to the U.S., we almost felt like guests
and the trip was so damned long I thought I’d die
but we made it in 31 hours, and I felt the loving power
of traveling together , no more goodbyes

with a second on the way, discharging from the service or to stay?
I followed my heart and placed you under milroy’s sky
and I cried as I left my wife and baby, and I prayed to God just maybe
could I have a day where there would be no more goodbyes

3 months later I was met, with my sons diaper which was wet, and
my wife on the phone with a boyfriend and a sigh
unexpected I was told, how could she be so bold?
when I got home not to tell the guy goodbye?

Thus began the spiral down, she didn’t really want me hanging around
every touch and kiss was not even worth the try.
but on one thing I was sure, every time I walked out that door
her smile grew wider than before when she said goodbye.

Times were tough, life was rough, I had to take two jobs
for in a one wage family money is so darned hard to come by
so I worked more hours every day, felt my life slipping away
and could hear her cheerful words telling me goodbye

one last chance for me to make it, in desperation I had to take it
so I left for Bradford and waited for your reply
you consented to me going, I had no idea what you were doing
when I got there you visited to say goodbye

my heart broke there in that minute, it was my life but I wasn’t in it
and I had to think was there another guy?
so I said we’re separated, and you were loved and I was hated
but you relished every chance to say goodbye

My life seemed almost done, there could be no other one,
and I had no answers to the question why
in my pleas to hear my sons voices, I was given difficult choices
return home or forever hear goodbye

so I packed my spirit broken, and I found myself a token
for my life was still with my sons and gorgeous bride
but she’d taken on another, her love was given to another
and all was left for me was what I started with, goodbye

Not one to surrender, I could not believe my love would end here
so in counseling she was asked for a final reply
choose your husband or this man, but you must now understand
whomever you choose the other must take his goodbye

Fury welled up deep inside her, all these years I had denied her and
in this moment revenge would finally be her outcry
She would not lose that man again, he was worth a thousand men
so she turned to me and smiled “I guess this is goodbye”

Those words are burned deep within, branded heart burned out all sin
and my innocence was lost at her reply
so my life simply imploded, I was wounded and eroded
and I turned to hear again, “get lost, goodbye”

Many years have passed us now, and I laugh when I hear how
my perceptions have misrecorded what passed by
for when I call not knowing if anyone dares answer, I still am treated like a cancer
because the only joy I give you is goodbye.

Love is not just having children, love is not just cohabitated living
love is so much more it makes me want to cry
love is courage and sacrifice, the way I gave to you my wife
when all you gave me back is your smile and goodbye

Took me all these years to write it down, to purge from my mind that sound
that kept replaying over and over to this guy
but this time let my voice answer, in a response long overdue
yes, this time I agree with you, it’s our goodbye.

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